Baby steps...

Last night and this morning were really difficult for us...not going to lie.

Actually, ever since we had court, "M" has been having a hard time.  Although he is either 6 or 7 (we're still not quite sure), he seems to be going on 15.  This little man has lived through much more than you or I have ever been through.  And as we take a step back, we realize that he is just a kid, longing to belong, longing for a mommy and a daddy to call his own, longing for someone to bind up his wounds.

The honeymoon period is over.

The boys have been staying with us for about a week now.  The first few nights, we set up a routine of taking a bath, potty, brushing teeth, storytime, singing songs, and prayers.  It was working so well. We never would hear a peep from them and both boys wouldn't dare budge.  Everything was new and unfamiliar to them, so it would take them long to fall asleep.  I sat next to their beds each night, rubbing their backs, until they'd fall asleep, hoping that they would feel safe and secure in their new "temporary home".

However, last night the honeymoon ended!

We asked "M" to brush his teeth in which he refused.  So we repeated our instructions, "M- brush your teeth".

Nothing.

Hmmm...so both Chris and I sat him down for a time-in, where we simply explained that if he didn't brush his teeth, that there would be "no cartoons" tomorrow.  He refused.  Fine!

So we prayed with them and put them to bed.  Within 5 minutes, the waterworks began.  Both boys hysterically crying.  So there we are, Chris and I rocking each boy, attempting to diffuse the tears.

And it was in that moment, that I remembered reading Russell Moore's words (Adopted for Life).  He talked about when he went to adopt his boys from a Russian orphanage, he didn't hear a single peep anywhere. No cries.  No voices.  The children knew that if they cried, they would not be heard.  But he said that it finally happened.  Before leaving the orphanage to return home, he heard the first cry.  It was that of his son's.  His son had finally realized that someone cared for him, that someone loved him.

These were the cries we heard last night.  Both boys knew that if they cried, we would be there to comfort and console them.  Every adoptive mommy & daddy want this moment.  It's when you know that "you've got them!"

But, I wish I could say that our trouble ended there.

Nope.

This morning, the drama continued.  "M" woke up moody and solemn.  He didn't want to listen to us again.  We asked him to make his bed, but he didn't budge.  So we told him that he was not going to ride the "boda boda" (kids bicycle) until we told him he could.

Well, he refused to eat breakfast.  Fine!

So...we did what any good parent would do.  We sat him down in a chair and told him he was not allowed to play until he apologized for being defiant.

Well...1 hour passed.

He didn't budge.  We didn't budge.

Chris and I took turns sitting next to him on the front porch, holding his hand, making him sit, as he watched the other children playing all around him.

It was cruel, but it was necessary.  It was the battle of the wills.  We knew that if we gave in, he would have the upper hand.  So...we stayed put.

Another hour passed and he still wasn't budging.  He finally apologized to Chris, but not to me.  So Chris told him had to stay until he apologized to mommy.

So I stood with my arm around him for a good half hour until...FINALLY...

"sorry!"

YES!  I scooped him up in my arms and went to the back of the house.  I sat down and kissed him on the cheek and told him "Good boy M.  Mommy loves you so much.  You did the right thing and I forgive you.  Mommy and Daddy are never going to leave you!"

A breakthrough.

A moment we'll never forget.

My father always says, "You have to break the will, but not the spirit".

Today, we knew that we "won" the first of many battles to come.  And we realized that we are getting our strength from God.  He's the one equipping us and molding us into a mommy and daddy.

We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but praying that God will equip us with patience and endurance.